Once I interviewed an author who saved all the rejection slips he got. After he’d sold his first book he used the previous turndowns to paper the downstairs bathroom. I like his style.
Getting rejected stings. Not only are you out the chance to have a published clip and make some money, it hurts that you put so much work into a piece only to have it summarily dismissed. Hearing “thanks but no thanks” is like being told your baby is ugly.
It’s even worse when you’re searching for a literary agent. Sending a brilliantly concise letter and a sample chapter and getting “not a good fit” in return is like being told your baby’s ultrasound is ugly.
Although these days editors are more likely to nyet you via e-mails, some people still do send their nope-not-for-us missives on paper. That’s why I decided to make this list. Here are 10 more uses for a rejection slip:
1. Add the person’s name and e-mail address to chain letters. Okay, not really – that would be just wrong. But it’s a fun revenge fantasy.
2. Create a strip of paper dolls. This is another chance for an imaginary up-yours: Write the name of the rejecting editor/agent on each figure. Hold the chain up and make the rudest face you can. Then run the whole thing through the shredder while muttering youhadyourchanceandblewit or maybe something like waituntilIbecomefamousyou’llbesorrythen. (Note: Revenge fantasies are by definition immature.)
3. Rejection origami! Boxes, dinosaurs, fish, frogs, jewelry, flowers, even “Star Wars” – see the Origami Resource Center for the how-to.
4. Tear them into squares and use as scrap paper. The letter gets one more shot at usefulness before its hits your recycle bin.
5. Papier-mâché. You may remember doing this in elementary school and using newspaper, but any kind of paper will do. Go beyond a globe of the world built around a balloon, though, with help from the paper mache projects page on Pinterest or the amazing work of Dan the Monster Man at Gourmet Paper Mache. (And yes, both places spelled it wrong.)
6. Make snowflakes and chains to decorate your Christmas tree. That’s taking defeat and turning it into a “nyah-nyah, you never hurt me” nose-thumbing. (A bit of grownup eggnog can help you hone that defiant edge.)
7. Use them as fire-starters in the wood stove or fireplace. Fewer and fewer people are subscribing to newspapers these days and thus use junk mail along with their kindling. Rejection slips definitely fall under that definition.
8. Turn them into paper airplanes. Download some templates from Fun Paper Airplanes or fold them freehand. Pretend the rejecting editor/agent is standing in front of you and launch away. (See “immature,” above.)
9. Make new paper. A messy project, but fun for your kids/grandkids, your Sunday school class or your home daycare. Or maybe you know a teacher who can use turn your waste paper into art. This page at the TeacherVision website offers tips.
10. Save them all in a file folder. When you sell your magazine article/book and become super-famous, you have the option of sending each of those naysayers a “whoops, bad call” note. Again, probably a revenge fantasy that will never happen.
But do keep in mind that DIY wallpaper idea I mentioned. Ain’t no revenge like revenge glimpsed from a seated position.
Cindy Brick says
I’ve done something like the wallpaper idea — a wall in my office called the “Wall of Shame.” It includes posters for talks I’ve done, newspaper articles…and lest I get too big a head, the rejections and nasty reader notes, as well. (Because you’ll get the bad stuff, along with the good.)
If the nasty stuff comes in via e-mail, I put them in a folder titled “Things I’d Rather Not Think About.”
It’s silly…but it keeps you humble and focused.
Donna Freedman says
I have a file called “Nice Notes,” in which I save interesting e-mails from readers and others. In my newspapering days I had what the other reporters called a “Stroke File,” i.e., ego strokes; that’s where I saved the letters people sometimes wrote.
A little humility is a good thing, but so is remembering all the good work you’ve produced.
Thanks for reading, and for leaving a comment.
SherryH says
Heh. When someone ticks me off in a minor way, I sometimes take my completely petty revenge by drawing on their first name for an unpleasant character in my fiction. I don’t use the individual *as* the character, just draw on the name. So if a clerk named Heather is unpleasant with me, my character’s snide office mate or self-centered sister-in-law may end up named Heather, too.
The person will never know–I don’t do this to people I actually *know* or even encounter on a regular basis, and a lot of people share the same first name–but I know, and it gives me a small sense of amusement.
So far, though, the one rejection letter I’ve gotten (out of two places I’ve tried to submit to) was so sweet and kind, I wouldn’t dream of misusing their name.
Donna Freedman says
Then of course there’s the name that is so cool, so unique, so whatever that it must be used somehow. A local songwriter saw a press release from an airline announcing the retirement of an employee out in the Alaska Bush. The guy was a heck of a worker and the airline wished him the best.
His name? Nimrod Bodfish.
So the songwriter wrote “The Ballad of Nimrod Bodfish,” because he had to do it.
SherryH says
I once saw someone remark that they mined their spam folder for unusual names. At the time, it was a great idea–all those weird names, first and last, that were just a little…off.
Now, though, it seems the quality of my spam has gone downhill. “Flnd an Attorney!” “The Lasik Vision Inst.” “Premier Credit Card” What am I supposed to do with things like that in the name field? Yawn and delete them. C’mon, spammers! Be creative.